Karmal Cloud
by Lauren Smith
Summary: About the son of Severus Snape trying to win the heart of Sirius Black's daughter. Sorry it's in this format, but my friend and I have been doing this over IM. The original can be viewed here


Sirrus- (sighs) Mother, why didn't you tell me I have a crazy aunt, who has a daughter I'll never be able to marry and interlink you and your best friends lives forever more (sighs again)

Karla- (runs out) Mother, how dare you call me overrated? You wouldn't call me overrated if we had been at home, and I could easily use my intelligence and your love for me against you, would you? Now, please tell the boy Sirrus to not even talk about marriage in my prescence, because I wouldn never marry anyone ever. (Sirius and Snape look at each other confused)

Sirrus- (falls head over heels in love with her and offers her a room filled with Dr. Pepper)

Karla- (sighs) For goodness sakes, you are a love struck fool, aren't you? I'm allergic to soda. Before I became allergic to it, I hated it anyways. So, I refuse your offer of a room of Dr. Pepper. Mother, please get me away from this person.

Sirrus- (crestfallen, looks to Kreepi for guidance on how to win her daughters heart)

Kreepi- (laughs) Nothing can do anything to that girl. Offer her all the money in the world, and she would still refuse. She's so darn difficult, I can never even figure out what she wants for her birthday. You can, however, try books. It's the one thing in this world she actually likes. Rarely ever leaves her room.

Sirrus- (with new hopes, offers her the seventh Harry Potter book, signed by JK herself)

Karla- (rolls eyes) You've been talking to my mother, have you not? I'm to complicated to read. Just a book won't do anything. Besides, I already have it with golden binding, signed by not only the author, but the illustrator as well. The books I do not own are very hard to obtain. If, by some unlikely chance you come up with a certain book I've been wanting for a while, I may or may not consider you.

Sirrus- (starts crying loudly, then pauses...)(goes over and whispers something to his dad)

Severus- Uh huh...Oh my..Alrighty then...(hands Sirrus a heart shaped bottle filled with a pink liquid)

Sirrus- (pours it over a hunk of the best chocolate in the world and pushes it under Karla's bedroom door)  
Karla- (sees chocolate)(mutters) God, he is completely pathetic. Wait . . . (observes chocolate) Hmm . . . MOM!

Kreepi- (comes in, sees chocolate, and gobbles before Karla can explain)

Karla-NO!

Kreepi- (groans, then eyes sparkle) Wow. Sirius is really hot. I'll be back Harla, I need to uh . . . have fun with your father.

Karla- MY NAME IS KARLA! (runs out, and smacks Sirrus) Boy, you have some nerve!

Sirrus- (cowers in fear, then looks up at Karla with those puppy eyes, as seen in Shrek on the cat, and begs for her forgiveness)

Karla- (rolls eyes) Not gonna work. Figure me out, and it may work out. (bends down and pecks the fearful boy on the cheek) That's all your getting out of me, until you can . . . woo me.

Sirrus- (mutters curses and hexes under his breath, and goes off to find a schematic for the infuriating female)

Karla- (is quite pleased with herself, then turns around) Oh, and Sirrus, any more love potion attempts, and you will be hurt. You're lucky that when it hit my mother, she went for my father. She could've went for you, or Mr. Snape, or even Mrs. Snape. So, do not try that ever again, k?

Severus and Taylor- (twitch involuntarily)

Sirrus- (comes back, sobbing, his clothes a mess and his hair in need of a cut)

Karla- (begins to think) He isn't too bad. Only problem is that he just doesn't know anything about me. If it's so hard to figure out which book I desire more than any other on the earth, I'll eat the Sorting Hat. Or my godbrother's broom. I mean, it just came out, but I still don't have it. And, I mean who can resist those 3 pale scars on his face? He'll never figure out which book I want.

Sirrus- (eyes light up as a light bulb is hovered above his head by his mother to help her son along) (runs off to fetch book)(Comes back with a package all wrapped up in bright orange paper)

Karla- (walking around with nose in book, when an orange package is thrusted her way) Huh? (picks up package, and reads note) 'If this isn't the book, I'll eat my cauldron. Love, Sirrus.' Like he even . . .oh my God! (unwraps paper, and sees Inkspell) By Merlin . . . (passes out)

Sirrus- (freezes) Hey! That guy took my book! I bought Green Eggs and Ham! (glances at Karla) (shrugs shoulders) Oh well, if it works.

Karla- (lying on ground, still passed out, and clutching book closely)

Sirrus- (lies beside Karla, and falls asleep with a smile on his face)

Karla- (wakes up at 1 am and sees Sirrus on ground) Uh . . . ok . . . (slowly stands up, and walks into room, locking door, and reading Inkspell)

Severus and Taylor- (shake their heads, smiling, and use Wingardium Leviosa to send their son to bed, and then go out to buy Inkspell for themselves)

Karla- (next morning) So . . . tired. (sees note under door) Ye gods! (reads note) 'I bought you the book. Or I think I did. You passed out, so I did something right. Is that good enough, or is there something more?' (shakes head) Yes or no, yes or no? Darn choices! (writes, 'maybe' on paper, then slides it under door, runs back to bed, and conks out)

Sirrus- (wakes up, reads note, and starts jumping for joy) Maybe now Karla will realize that my dumbness was just an act, and I'm actually exactly like Artemis Fowl when it comes to personality just not Irish and much nicer!

(3 pm)

Karla- Whoa, I overslept. (gets up, and walks to door opens it)

Sirrus- (is sitting there playing a card game)

Karla- Uh . . . hi Sirrus. (tries to run back into room)

Sirrus- (stands up and grabs her hand)

Taylor, Severus, Kreepi, and Sirius- (all hiding, and watching at same time)

Taylor- (is eating popcorn)

Sirrus- (bends down on one knee) Karla, I love you with all my heart! I would like to know if you would make me the happiest man in the world . . .Will you marry me? (puts on puppy eyes)

Karla- (backs away in shock) I . . . I don't even know you! You don't know me! How the heck would that work? You haven't even kissed me yet, you fool!

Tay, Severus, and Kreepi- (all look at each other, in despair)

Sirrus (grins mischievously)(stands up, stares into Karla eyes, and smooches her)

Karla- (twitches, and pulls off) You have some nerve boy! Is that romance to you? Kissing someone AFTER they mention it? Straighten yourself up a bit, and I may actually go for you. Now don't try that again! (yanks arm free, and storms off, very, very ticked)

Sirrus (still smiling, pulls out an invisibility cloak and slips into Karla's bedroom, while his mother smacks noisily on her popcorn)

(Midnight)

Karla God, I never want to see that boy ever again! (walks into room, and lies down. closes eyes, and starts to fall asleep.)

Sirrus- (sneaks out from under the bed, and gets into Karla's, and captures her lips by surprise)

Karla- (eyes snap open) NO! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU CREEP! (gets up and runs off)(grabs broom, and walks to door)

Sirrus- (not wearing the cloak, runs over, locks the door, and pins Karla, facing him to the door, and proceeds to make out with her)

Karla- (kicks Sirrus hard) MOTHER! HELP ME! (runs to Kreepi's room, and bangs on door, and jiggles handle) HELP! PLEASE!

Taylor- (smiles at her might-be-future-daughter in-law as she shares popcorn with Kreepi, because Severus went to pick up some Dr Pepper and more popcorn)

Karla- (hears snacking sounds in hallway closet) (mutters) They wouldn't . . . (runs to closet door, and opens it, and sees them all there, just staring) HELP ME RIGHT NOW, OR I WILL KILL MYSELF!

Kreepi- You don't know how too!

Karla I do too! Mr. Snape taught me!

Severus- (walks back with Dr. Pepper, and sees Kreepi, Tay, and Sirius glaring at him) WHAT! Was I supposed to say no?

Taylor- (glares at her husband, then turns to smile sweetly at Karla) Sweety, why don't you like him? Do you actually HAVE a reason? Or are you just scared of boys?

Karla- Because he's a pig, and he doesn't even understand me. Now let me go, or I will kill myself. (pulls out wand, and points it at self)

Taylor- (smiles at Kreepi)

Kreepi and Taylor- (in one quick move, shove empty popcorn bucket over her head and stun her so she won't hurt herself)

Kreepi- (high fives Tay) Where do we put her? (picks up Karla's wand from floor)

Taylor- Sirrus's room?

Kreepi- That'll work. (looks at Sirius and Severus)

Sirius and Severus- (pick up Karla and put her in Sirrus's room).

Sirrus- (comes out crestfallen again, and heads to his bedroom to rest, then finds the girl of his dreams on his bed, runs in, and shuts the door)

Karla- (is fighting stunning curse in head)(it ends up working) (eyes snap open, and see Sirrus trying to get undressed) AH! HELP ME! WHERE THE HECK IS MY WAND? (tries non-verbal Avada Kedavera, but fails)

Sirrus- (starts laughing) What are you yelling about? I was just trying to get changed so I can take you to the fanciest restaurant in town, my treat. What did you think I was doing? Trying to sleep with you while you were stunned? You're crazy, I'm better than that.

Karla- (is impressed) Let me go. Please? I need to leave! I don't belong with you!

Sirrus- (raises an eyebrow) Why in Silvertounge's name do you say that? Did you ever give me a chance? No, you didn't. Just let me take you on this one date, and if it doesn't work out, I'll give you your wand back and we can both just walk away (looks under bed for other sock)

Karla- . . . (sees sock and goes for it the same time Sirrus does. She retracts, and sits on the bed) Fine. But you know it won't work out, so why even try? It's pointless.

Sirrus- (smiles as he slips the sock on his foot) Because I said so. Isn't that enough for now?

Karla- Not really. It's not worth it. And why should I listen to someone like you? You cornered me, proposed, and everything. Don't you get it? I can't stand you, so just leave me be. I don't like you one bit.

Sirrus- (frowns slightly) Alright then, if you want to give up on me, fine...(sighs loudly) I just feel bad for your wand...(sighs again, as he put on his tie)

Karla (twitches) You . . . you are the most evil, conniving, insolent, puerile, vile, filthy, noxious, and unnecessary little boy I have had the displeasure to meet. Fine. But only for my wand. Make no moves on me, or suffer the consequences. You have weaknesses. I, however, am without flaws.

Sirrus- (smiles at her vocabulary and her stupidness when it comes to her flaws) Alright then. Are you ready to leave?

Karla- (looks down at self) You expect me to go like this? I'm in my pajamas still, you nitwit.

Sirrus- (smiles) I think you look beautiful, no matter what clothes your wearing

Severus, Taylor, Kreepi- (can be heard through the door going Awwww)

Karla-(jumps up, and throws a random item at the door) SICKOS! (turns to Sirrus) I'm not going out in my pajamas. Now, either let me get dressed in my room privately, or I won't agree at all. It's a willing sacrfice. You keep my wand, and I keep my dignity. So, let me get dressed NOW!  
Sirrus- (smiles as he strolls back to his room) Alright, but if you keep me waiting...(pulls out her wand and makes it seem like he's going to snap it in half)

Karla- (grumbles) Fine, your highness. The unfortunate slave that is me will get dressed at a velocity that cannot be compared.

Sirrus- (smiles and shuts his door humming to himself)

Parents- (are stuck in the hallway wondering what the freak is going on)

Severus- I'm. Going. To. Get. A. Pizza.

Karla (getting dressed, and kicking random items on the floor) Stupid idiot. Making me go on a date. Stupid parents, won't let me not like him. Stupid wand, letting itself get snatched. (puts on white dress, and opens the door, making Sirrus fall to floor, almost looking up her dress) Pervert (kicks Sirrus's head)

Sirrus- (curses under his breath at her stupidity) I was just trying to pick up this pendent I bought for you!

Karla- You're such a bad liar. Let's go, before I die of suspense. I want this over with quickly.

Sirrus- (sighs as he hands her the necklace) Here, if you want it fine, if not I'm throwing it in the trash.

Karla-(looks at it carefully) Who told you about orange? Gift wrap is orange, necklace is orange. Who told you? (Sirius whistles) (Karla shoots an evil glance his way)

Sirrus- (smiles at Sirius) Well, just take it. It isn't meant to be romantic or anything. Just a friendly gift between families. Think of it as an early Christmas present. (drapes her cloak about her shoulders)

Karla- Let's get out of here. I'm not in the mood for your whatever-ness. It's quite annoying.

Sirrus- (sighs as he walks her to the limo in the driveway)

Karla- Ever heard of a broom? Or Floo Powder? Or even Apparation?

Sirrus- (in an annoyed tone) Yes, I have, but since it's cold out, floo powder makes you sneeze, and apparation is overrated, I thought we'd take this limo, which is fully equipped with a digital library, filled with every book in the world.

Karla-(snorts) You really are after me, aren't you. Too bad, it won't work. Digital is overrated. Too Muggle like.

Sirrus-(smiles) Did you not realize that you are a half-blood my dear?

Karla- And did you not realize you too are a half-blood? Actually, I think you're a quarter-blood, but who goes that far? (jumps into limo, not thanking, or even recognizing Sirrus)

Sirrus-(Squints eyes at her and her arrogant-ness and clambers in after her, the limo takes off to the restaurant.) (Silence is ringing in their ears as they watch snowflakes fall from the sky) So...

Karla-Silence is much better then hearing your awful voice scratch the air, so shut it half-pint.

Sirrius-(sighs loudly, and it stays quiet until they reach "Cafe Au Lait" helps her out of the limo) Isn't a lovely night. Look! There's the dog star!

Karla-(Glances up, and shakes head) Don't even try making a joke out of that. Hurry up, I hate winter.

Sirrus-(sighs) Alright come on...

Karla-(mutters) Stupid, idiotic boy. Stupid restaurant(looks get shot at Karla from waiters). Need to get out of here. Must get wand. 


End file.
